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Underneath all relationships lurks this phenomena called values.

Early in relationships they are easy to align because our description of values is often simple. We describe values using words such as honesty , integrity or respect .

All people agree on these values. Don't they?

But real values come into play when relationships mature. True colours emerge. The harsh reality of what is really valued, emerges.

How honest?

Always honest?

Where are exact boundaries between honest and dishonest?

The questions get a little trickier.

Or respect? Respect for who? Where is the tradeoff between respect for myself and respect for others? Respect despite the circumstances? Real respect? The way I understand respect?

It is only when placed under pressure that our true values emerge.

And when they do emerge they either confirm the strength of the relationship or they highlight the void.

True values only emerge over time

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